Keep Holding On
by Jenny Crosby
Summary: She came bolting out of the building, wiping her eyes and sniffling. I'd never seen her so vulnerable, and it struck something inside me. "Scram, Lady Lips," she hissed. "Santana, just tell me what's wrong. I'm not going to judge you."
1. Just Stay Strong

Keep Holding On

1. Just Stay Strong

I'd always known there was something different about Santana and Brittany. I mean, if the way Santana couldn't keep her eyes off her in glee club was any indication. I thought it was only a matter of time before they got together. But then, Brittany and _Artie _started seeing each other, and I found myself disappointed. They were cute and all, but you could just see the heartbreak in Santana's eyes whenever they were together. So, looking back, I can say yes, I knew.

Then, one day, I was sitting out in my baby in the McKinley parking lot, waiting for Mercedes to show so we could go shopping when I saw something I don't think I've ever seen before: Santana was crying. She came bolting out of the building, wiping her eyes and sniffling. I'd never seen her so vulnerable, and it struck something inside me. Before I knew what I was doing, I flew out of the car and ran up to her. "Santana?" I asked, and she turned away, refusing to look me in the eye. "Santana," I said, more firmly this time.

"Scram, Lady Lips," she hissed over her shoulder, but made no effort to leave herself.

"Santana, just tell me what's wrong," I nearly pleaded, having no idea where this sympathy was coming from. "I'm not going to judge you."

At that she snapped, turning to face me with a glare cold enough to freeze boiling water. "Oh, yeah? Well, why wouldn't you? Everyone else has. Why would anyone feel any sympathy for me? I'm just the bitch that walks around insulting anyone and everyone she can get her hands on! Why the _hell _would anyone want to help me?"

I sighed. I honestly didn't know. Why was I helping her? She'd never done anything for me. "Because," I said finally, "no matter what you may think of us, we're your friends, Santana. And we wouldn't just throw you out in the streets when your life takes a bad turn. We'd be there to help you." I turned around to walk away. She obviously didn't want my help, and besides, there's a designer scarf at the mall I have my eye on and I'm not about to let someone else get there first.

"Wait," she called after me, all anger gone from her voice. She walked up to me, grabbed my wrist and began to drag me in the direction of my car. Before she could ask what I was doing, she said, "Open it," in a way that was probably supposed to be forceful, but her voice cracked. I did as I was told and she jumped into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut. As soon as I'd sat down in the driver's, she started talking, hesitantly at first, like she thought I was going to laugh at her. "So, Ms. Holiday came in glee club this week to give us a lesson on sex education, right?" I tried to refrain from scoffing. _So that's what Sue was talking about..._ "Well, I was hanging with Britt, and she was telling me we should see an adult, because our 'relationship' was really c-confusing," she choked out. "So, we talked to Ms. Holiday and she got us to sing 'Landslide' in glee club, which made me realizing something."

"You love Brittany," I finished for her, and she looked up at me with big brown eyes, her cheeks stained with her eyeliner running down her face.

"How did y -" she started, but I cut her off.

"Santana, trust me, my gaydar is just about as finely tuned as they come," I said with a chuckle.

Santana's eyes went wide as she immediately shot back, "I'm not gay." I refrained from rolling my eyes because, really? What did she think I was going to do? Laugh? Kick her out of my car? Tell people? "Santana, you don't have to hide anything from me. Do you honestly think I'd judge you about this? You're talking to the boy who's car got taken away because his dad found his tiara collection in his hope chest. I mean, after much begging and pleading, I got it back, of course..." This got the tiniest bit of a giggle from her, but she still looked distressed. "There's more. Tell me."

"So, I went up to Brittany and told her everything. I told her how I f-felt, and she shot me down. She said she was in love with A-Artie." I was a bit taken aback. That didn't really sound like Brittany. "I'm just so scared. I'm so scared of what people would say behind my back. Everyone's already calling me a slut and a bitch, I'd rather not they throw in d-dyke."

_Oh my god. _It's like looking in a mirror. An emotional mirror. Santana's face began to scrunch up as she let a new wave of tears flow, and I immediately pulled her into a hug. "Santana, I promise, I know _exactly _how you feel. Trust me, I've been there. You don't want to tell anyone you're gay because the possibility of being gay sickens you. If even you hate yourself, imagine how other people will react. Right?" I felt her nod, and continued. "But trust me, denying it will get you absolutely nowhere. It'll just make you hate yourself even more. It'll make your look at the fake life you're living and say, 'if I were straight, this could be real. I could be happy.' Santana, trust me, there was a point in my life where I dreaded getting up in the morning. I _hated _who I was. I'd have done anything to be anyone else. But I was ashamed for a different reason, I imagine, then you are. My dad." She looked up at me with eyes that almost broke my heart, but I went on. "I love my dad more than anything in the entire world. He's everything to me. But my dad and I, we're very different. He runs an auto repair shop and watches football. I was so terrified that if I told him I was gay, he'd be so ashamed. I was scared...that he wouldn't love me anymore." I had to swallow the lump in my throat as I recalled my memories. "But you're afraid of what other people will think. You don't want what happened to me to happen to you. And while I can almost certainly guarantee that no one will be throwing you in dumpsters or shoving you into lockers, there is the slushee issue to worry about. And, of course, what the other girls will say and giggle about at sleepovers. You don't want to any more isolated then you already are. Am I right?"

"How do you know all this stuff?" she asked, sounding like a scared little girl asking her mommy how she knew there weren't monsters under her bed.

"Because I've been in exactly the same spot. You've just got to stay strong. Someday, this town full of ignoramuses will realize that we aren't aliens from another planet. But for now, you've just got to stay strong. Will you do that for me, Santana?" I said, and I felt a smirk play across her face as she nodded. "Good. And remember, I'll always be here for you, okay?"

"You're a really great friend, Kurt," she sniffed. "I guess I should've given you a break when you were at McKinley." She paused. "I'm sorry for the whole Frank-N-Furter thing."

"Oh, that was Mr. Schue's prejudice, not yours," I chuckled. I looked over Santana's shoulder to see Mercedes looking at me like I was juggling severed hands. "There's Mercedes. We're supposed to go shopping today." I paused. "Would you want to come with us?"

Santana wiped her eyes, then gave me the first genuine smile I've ever seen cross her face. "I'd love to," she said.

**Awww! I just really need some Kurtana friendship! Don't you think? Because, if you ask me, he'd be able to give her some pretty worthwhile advice! This is set, obviously, towards the end of Sexy, when Santana storms away from Brittany after telling her she's in love with her. Kurt's still at Dalton and Karofsky's still an issue, hence his hiding in the car. **

**PS- I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. I'm like, 'check me out on tumblr!' then don't give you my link. well, here it is: sarcasticandcondescending .tumblr. com. Except, minus the spaces, obviously. Sorry about my dorkiness. **

**Until next time!**


	2. Together We Stand

2. Together We Stand

Mercedes angrily gestured for me to "get the hell out of the car" as she was still standing outside. I sighed, got out and walked up to her, and had barely stopped moving before she hissed, "Why is _she _there?" in a voice more venomous then I've ever heard.

"Because, she's joining us on our shopping trip," I informed her, but apparentally she wasn't aware that was the end of the conversation.

"_What_?" she exclaimed. "Why? All she's ever done to us is be colossal -"

"Bitch?" I finished for her. "Look, Mercedes, you can't always judge a book by it's cover. Santana...needs a friend right now, and call me whatever you'd like but I'm going to be there for her."

"But, Kurt..._why_?" she repeated, more quietly this time, like she was honestly trying to understand. I couldn't tell her "I relate to her on a level that I can't with anyone else but Blaine because she's gay and she's ashamed and in love with someone who supposedly doesn't love her back."

So, instead, I replied (probably a bit too protectively), "Mercedes, aren't we always bragging that this club is like one big family? That we'll all always be there for each other. Well neglecting Santana during her time of need would be the complete opposite, and I'm not just going to sit idly by and watch her get hurt while we do nothing about it."

As we drove, with Mercedes semi-pouting in the backseat and Santana having returned to her usual self, give or take a few sniffles now and then, I was beginning to wonder if this were the best idea. Mercedes obviously had decided to play hypocrite for this trip, and I started to think maybe I should've just told her I couldn't go shopping today and just take Santana for coffee. But no, that would've been wrong too. But maybe -

With too many responsibilities and options and rights and wrongs floating around in my head, I began to sense the beginning of a migraine. So, I tried the only solution that worked for me. I stripped my mind completely and only thought of Blaine. Blaine's smile, Blaine's eyes, Blaine's _body..._

I sighed. I was beginning to think I might need to be checked in to a mental hospital. Blaine so obviously liked me...or so I thought. He turned me down on Valentine's Day...kinda. And he's always flirting with me, but then he says I can't be sexy? The boy just doesn't make any damn sense. And as much as I want to, I can't figure out how to get over him, though I know it's what I need to do.

So, okay, sometimes it works for me. Sometimes it just puts me in a deeper funk. "So, Kurt, where are we going?" Santana asked, and I gasped the tiniest bit. _Did she just call me Kurt? _

I recovered quickly, however, and replied with, "Same mall we always go to," shooting her a warm smile so she wouldn't think I was being rude. She smiled back and I could see Mercedes rolling her eyes in the backseat.

"Thanks for bringing me, Kurt!" Mercedes called as she ran to her front door, balancing her six different bags around her arms and waving like a fiend. She'd gotten over the Santana thing quickly enough when it became clear she wasn't going to act like a bitch.

I head back in the direction of my house, the car ride having suddenly become comfortably silent, with only the faint radio playing in the background. "So, Santana, I have to ask you something," I started, watching Santana raise her eyebrow at me from the passenger seat, "You said Brittany completely dissed you? Because that really doesn't sound like her, especially judging by the way she stares at you in glee club."

"She does?" Santana asked innocently, her dark brown eyes wide. She shook her head slightly like people always do in sitcoms to shake a memory and said, "Well, all I know is she told me she couldn't be with me because she was in love with Artie." Her tone suggested the conversation was over and I decided not to push it any further. We made it to my house and went immediately up to my room, Santana flopping down on my bed. "So, tell me about Dalton. Any hot private school boys to mess around with?"

I probably turned bright red, whipping around to stare at her with huge eyes. "Santana!" I gasped, and she just giggled.

"You know what I mean," she said, "Anyone there you have your eye on?" I smiled shyly and focused on my shoes. God, they need to be polished...

"Well, there is one boy..." I mumbled, hoping Santana wouldn't hear. She did.

"_Who_?" she squealed, and I was amazed at how different she was when she wasn't putting up the bitch act.

I sighed. I guess I might as well get it over with. "His name's Blaine. He's absolutely dreamy, but, I don't think he likes me."

Her jaw dropped in disbelief as she said, "How couldn't he? I mean, trust me, if you weren't gay, I'd totally tap that." I blushed even more at the bizarre comment, but she didn't seem phased at all. "Is he gay?" I nodded. "Well then what are you waiting for?"

"Well, I told him before, but he said he's 'not very good at romance' and 'doesn't want to screw this up,' but I'm not sure what that means." I was sounding more like a second grader with every passing moment.

"It _means _that he likes you too but doesn't want to mess things up with you and make you hate him forever by screwing up a romantic relationship," she said, as if it was basic knowledge everyone should know. Just then, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I quickly pulled it out.

"Speak of the devil," I muttered, and Santana jumped from her spot on the bed to read over my shoulder as I opened the text.

_Hey :) You still at the mall? Because if not I was wondering if you might want to get some coffee or something. - Blaine x_

Santana squealed directly in my ear, making me cringe and making the moment decidedly less exciting. "_Oh, Dios mío! Kurt, es totalmente para ti! ¿Ve usted la x? Esto es fabuloso! Niño, que necesita para aprovechar así de rápido! Bien, primero vamos a necesitar los pantalones muy ajustados para mostrar el culo, y_-" I cut Santana off on her Spanish rant as soon as possible, catching few phrases and words such as "tap that" and "ass" and not wanting to hear any more.

"Santana! It's not a date, okay? We're just going to hang out. That's all we ever do." I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice in the last sentence, but I don't think I succeeded as my unlikely friend's face fell. But, soon it had returned to her classic bitch smirk as she said five words that made me want to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment.

"Who cares? Tap that anyway."

**Alright, I know my updating has been scarce recently, but I just started school, so everything's really hectic, what with homework and getting up at six in the morning and what-have-you, but I promise I will update at least one story every weekend, if not one on Saturday and one on Sunday. **

**Until next time!**


	3. I'm Here For You

Keep Holding On

3

I took in a deep breath and stepped through the doors of the Lima Bean, butterflies invading my stomach like they were defusing a bomb and my legs having decided to role play that there were no bones in them whatsoever. I was used to it at this point, however. This always happens when I'm with Blaine.

I looked around tentively until I saw him waving me over from our usual table, the two cups all ready. I walked over to him and tried to seem as collected as possible, giving him a smile as I sat down. "Hey, Blaine," I said, "What's up?"

"I need to ask you something," he said, and I noticed something. Was he - _nervous_? He looked around the coffee shop and rubbed his hands together as though he were cold.

"Yeah...?" I replied, urging him to continue. _Don't do this to yourself. It's probably nothing. Remember Valentine's Day? Yeah. _

"I had this idea...and I wanted to make sure it wasn't cheesy or anything." I raised an eyebrow and he chuckled, continuing. "Ever heard any Maroon 5? I was thinking the Warblers could do _Misery. _Y'know, _I am in misery, there ain't nobody who can comfort me. _Ring a bell?" He was grinning now, and even the sound of his beautiful voice couldn't distract me from the fact I'd just gotten my hopes up again, only to be crushed. Again.

"Um, whatever," I muttered, shrugging and taking a sip of coffee to stall. "I mean, you're singing lead, so I guess my opinion really doesn't matter, right?"

"Well, I just thought that -" he started, and I don't know where it came from, but I was sick of this. Playing along, pretending I could do this whole "just-friends" shtick without getting my heart broken. It'd already happened twice, if we're not counting the numerous times it's fallen into my stomach.

"I don't care, Blaine! I don't care! It's your thing, I don't give a damn what you sing! Just tell me if I doo-wop or oh-yeah in the background and keep me out of it, alright?" Of course that isn't what I said. That's what I _wish _I'd said. What I really said was, "Well, you can certainly sing it, that's for sure. I can't wait to hear it, Blaine." I gave him a smile and nonchalantly glanced at the clock behind him. _Oh, shit. _I jumped from my seat, grabbed my cup and said, "This has been fun, Blaine, but if I don't get home right now Burt's going to assume the worst. The police may be involved." He laughed slightly and I chuckled, "You think I'm kidding." His gorgeous hazel eyes went wide and we bolted to our seperate cars, Blaine giving me what almost looked like a sad smile before jumping into his lamborghini.

The first thing that happened as soon as I got home was my phone vibrating in my pocket the second I flopped down on my bed.

_Text message: Santana. _I chuckled lightly to myself and opened it. _Well? Tell me all the horny details! _

I cringed and replied, _Santana, we're NOT dating. _

_That's no excuse. _

_He just told me about a performance he wanted to do with the Warblers. Some Maroon 5 song or something._

_That's it? Seriously? I have to admit, I'm disappointed._

_I apologize sincerely. _

_Well, you get your pretty little ass to bed. No one wants bags under their eyes in the morning. _

_Thanks. :) Talk to you tomorrow. _

God, can this be any more _tortorous? _I tried to concentrate on the problems in front of me, but they all came out looking like scribbles of utter nonsense. I heard the door creak open but thought nothing of it until I heard "OH YEAH!" and a piece of paper landed on my arm. All the other Warblers quickly got out of their seats and began harmonizing in the background, while I stayed put. _Oh, for the love of god. _Blaine began hopping around and singing what I assumed to be _Misery, _and it seemed I was the only Warbler who wasn't on his feet. Blaine waltzed over to me and got me to stand up, holding me by the shoulders while our performance made it's way out into the hall. Faking an enthusiasm, I began to "bop-bop" with the rest of the blazers, sitting myself down on a bench as the chorus began.

Once the song was over and the Warblers began returning to the commons, Blaine turned to me with a look I can only call puppy-like and said, "So, what'd you think?"

"You said _what_?" she practically shrieked, and I found myself putting my hands up in surrender. I opened my mouth to reply, but she held up a pointer finger and said, "No, I ain't finished." I nodded and sat down on her bed, letting her pace. "I mean, that would be the perfect chance to say something like, 'That was _so _sexy,' and attack his face! But no! What do you do? You _diss _the kid! De verdad! ¿Estás fuera de tu mente, chico blanco? Esa fue la oportunidad ideal para conseguir algo caliente acción privada iba a la escuela! Quiero decir, no me malinterpreten, me encanta la leche, pero -"

"Santana!" I interrupted. "We are _not _dating, and won't be any time soon! I can guarantee that! The feeling isn't mutual!" She rolled her eyes, but I saw a sudden pain read across her face. _Oh, no..._ "Hey," I said gently, getting up from my seat to wrap her in a hug as her face began to break, "wanna go flirt with store clerks and see if we can get a discount?"

She sniffled and said with a weak chuckle, "How are we _just _now friends?"

** Sorry for the eternal wait! I was listening to **_**One and Only **_**and if any of you read **_**This Could Be The End, **_**you know the context. Anyway, I reread that chapter and had a random burst of inspiration, so here ya go. Also, I've got a four-day weekend that goes till Tuesday, so you guys can give me a virtual slap if I don't update again. **

** Santana's rant loosely translates to - For real! Are you out of your mind, white boy? That was the ideal chance to get some hot private school boy action! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the spunk, but - and then she's interrupted. **

** Klaine will happen, don't you worry. Soon. PS - Anyone catch why Santana broke down a little there? The just-friends connection? Eh? Eh? No? Bummer. **

** Send review. Receive virtual cupcake. **

** Until next time!**


	4. When it Comes to the Truth

_Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it..._Instead, I tried to focus on the huge stack of numbers sitting on my vanity. That flirting-to-get-discounts trip had surely paid off. Of course, Santana was still too scared to go all the way and spent her time flirting with the male clerks, however she'd suggested I go for both, which seemed to work quite nicely. Despite what she's always coming off as, she can be a real good friend. She's funny, bubbly, strong, and we have oodles in common. Maybe that's what Brittany sees in her. It must be.

I began whistling absentmindedly, having been put in a much better mood. Pavarotti soon began chirping along, and I smiled, whistling a response. This didn't go on as long as it usually did, because suddenly he stopped chirping. "Pavarotti...?" I said, turning to see him lying dead on the floor of his cage.

Even though I was mourning, I still took the time to admire my fabulous black outfit I'd assembled. I sighed dejectedly. I'm going to be honest - I wasn't _that _upset about Pavarotti's...passing. He was a great friend of mine and had a gorgeous singing voice, but he was a bird after all and recently I've come to find humans are far better companions.

_Let me get this straight. Your _bird _died. - Santana_

_ Not my bird. The Warblers' bird. I was just taking care of it. Warbler tradition. - Kurt_

_ Then why are you going to school in a black outfit? - Santana_

_ It's considered respectful to mourn the dead. - Kurt_

_ Please, Dear Lord, tell me you aren't going to wear that _all year. _- Santana_

_ What? No. Where did you get that? - Kurt_

_ Women did that in the 1800s. I saw it in _Gone With The Wind. _-Santana_

_ Well, I'm not a woman and this isn't the 1800s. It's just for one day. Besides, if I play my cards right I might get a solo out of this. - Kurt _

_ Good luck, Porcelain. - Santana_

I smiled. Despite the fact it had been given to me by Coach Sylvester, I found myself rather liking the nickname. I thought of it as somewhat of a compliment.

I knew I might be being a bit manipulative, but I _was _upset, and I'd never gotten the chance to sing "Blackbird." I just hoped I'd be able to keep myself together.

I pulled into the Dalton parking lot and put on my best depressed face. It wasn't hard; I just had to remember my last days at McKinley. I sulked through the halls, making sure to ignore anyone who waved or smiled at me. As I approached the commons I heard an argument erupting and had to stop myself from smiling when I heard "kangaroo court." Instead, I used both arms to shove the doors open and entered dejectedly.

After a bit of discussion, I was allowed to sing. The tape began and I held back a sniff. I tried to clear my mind of any and all things family-related or happy or good and instead thought of Night on Bald Mountain. I saw Blaine in the corner of my eye begin to hum along and almost smiled through my now-flowing tears.

It wasn't about the bird. The song...my mother used to sing it every night I had nightmares. It wasn't often, but occasionally I'd have them. Mostly about childish things, like the trees in _Snow White_ or the flying monkeys in the _Wizard of Oz_. She'd always come in and sing Blackbird to me until I fell back asleep. Something about that song just soothed me in a way nothing else would. Maybe it was the melody. Maybe it was her voice. Maybe it was both. I'm not sure.

As the song came to an end, I looked around the room and noticed, again, Blaine, staring at me with a new softness I hadn't seen before. Probably sympathy.

"Thank you," I choked out, trying not to meet his gaze.

_How'd it go? - Santana_

_ Fine. I got to sing. - Kurt_

_ Any action? - Santana_

_ I don't think anyone would put the moves on me while I was mourning. Isn't that morally unethical? - Kurt _

_ Never stopped me. - Santana_

_ Does Blaine not being able to keep his eyes off me count? - Kurt_

_ OK. WHAT. - Santana_

_ DETAILS! - Santana_

_ NOW! - Santana_

_ There are no details! He was just staring at me. That's all. - Kurt_

_ You're _so _going to get some. - Santana_

_ Oh, please. - Kurt_

I walked into the commons, now clad once again in my uniform for rehearsal, putting my phone away. I sat down on the edge of the couch and rested my head on my fist, sighing. Blaine came in almost immediately after me. "Hey," he said quietly, resting a hand on my shoulder. "You alright?" There was that softness again. I'd seen something like it in his eyes before, but never that prominently.

"Fine, thanks," I replied softly, the intensity of his gaze slightly throwing me off.

"I now call this meeting to order." I began to drift away into my own world, Blaine's hazel eyes staring directly into mine still fresh in my memory.

"...into a duet." Wait, _what_? The room erupted and I sat up straighter, paying attention once more.

_I told you! HA! - Santana_

_ Just because he wants to sing with me doesn't mean he likes me. - Kurt _

_ Oh, PLEASE. You have to sing a duet with someone right before you get together. It's like a show choir rite of passage. - Santana_

_ Don't be ridiculous. Our voices blend well, okay? - Kurt_

_ There's another sign you two were made for each other! I'm telling you, it's about to go down. - Santana_

_ You're crazy. - Kurt_

_ Keep me posted. ;) - Santana _

I giggled before taking a seat and laying down my arts and crafts materials on the table and beginning my work, starting with bedazzlement.

It wasn't soon before I heard the door creak open. "What'cha doing?"

** Yeah. I know. No hate, please! Klaine is coming, don't you worry. **

** Until next time!**

** PS - Tumblr is now allyouneedislessthanthree. :)**


	5. It Feels Like the End

**I had another chapter five, but it just came out as one big paragraph every time I uploaded it (some of you may have seen that, I'm sorry!). So, let's hope this works.**

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><p>It Feels Like the End<p>

"Holy _shit_! Get you some, white boy!" Santana giggled, falling back on the bed.

I smirked. "I'm amazed you haven't started ranting in Spanish." She gave me a look that said 'don't test me' followed by a smile, then directed her line of vision to the ceiling. We were in her room. I'd just told her about Blaine _kissing _me. The idea was still so foreign. I'd probably pinched myself about sixteen times before making my way over to her house that day. The whole thing had felt like a dream, but so _real _at the same time. I hadn't quite wrapped my head around the idea that he'd initiated it, either. A smile played on the edges of my lips as I replayed the scene.

"So, did you fuck?" I sighed.

"I was in the middle of a daydream, thank you so much."

"Wanky," she laughed. "So, you didn't answer me. Now, Cheeks."

I rolled my eyes. "No, we didn't - um - _that. _We made out for about twenty minutes, but that was about it." Santana waggled her eyebrows at me suggestively, earning her a playful shove.

"Well, how're things with you and Britt?" I knew I shouldn't have asked the second the words left my lips. Her face immediately fell and her eyes clouded over.

"Everything's fine."

"Santana, you know you can't lie to me."

"She wants to know…what she did wrong," she stammered, and my shoulders slumped.

"Well, what did she do?" Santana glared at me, and I shrugged. "I'm serious."

"She rejected me!" Santana hissed. "Don't you remember, Sparkles? Me running out of the building?" A slight hardness had developed in her voice, and I should've known that then was a time to change the subject.

"Yes, I remember quite vividly," I replied, deciding to ignore the newest nickname. "But…Santana, that doesn't really sound like her. Are you sure you told me _exactly _what happened? I seriously doubt she just point blank rejected you."

Her eyes burned with anger and her voice rose as she snapped back, "Sorry, Fabulous, I don't recall you standing there with me when I told her I was in _love _with her and she said she didn't love me back!" She stood up, baring down at me now. "What does that fucking sound like to you?"

"Look -"

"No, you look, Von Crap. You were never in my situation. You've always known who you are. You were never in love with your _best friend _who's too ditsy to even realize what that means!" Her voice began to break, but she payed no mind. "You never had a reputation to uphold. A _uniform _to keep in your closet. Your life would never had fallen apart if you came out because everyone already _knew_!"

I froze and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Well, let me tell _you _something, Santana. You think we never noticed the way you looked at her in Glee club? How you never wanted any guy to come anywhere near her? You think no one noticed that once Artie started dating her, you immediately made him your new target?" The anger in her face was gone and was now replaced with a strange fear. "You may think you've got some big secret, Santana, but we're all just waiting for you to admit it!"

Before thinking, I grabbed my coat and rushed for the door, not looking back. I got in my car, slammed the keys into the ignition and drove off at least ten miles above the speed limit.

We didn't make up.

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><p><strong>What? Too depressing? Don't worry, this isn't the last you'll see of Kurtana, whether it be arguing, comforting or just plain fluff.<strong>


	6. I'll Be By Your Side

**Yes, yes, I know. I've been gone way too long than is it all acceptable. But, re-reading this story, I felt like it needed more. So, this is set towards the end of 'Mash-Off', possibly the beginning of IKAG. Yay! And, as we speak I am going through my other stories and (possibly) updating them as well, so, stay tuned!**

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><p>I'll Be By Your Side<p>

I sat in my room, humming along to 'Perfect,' smiling at the memories clouding my mind. Me and Blaine. Blaine and _I..._we...

Suddenly, without my permission, my mind raced back to that day in my room, telling Santana of the infamous kiss.

"Did you fuck?"

I sighed sadly. I missed her, in a weird way. Sure, she's a collosal bitch and hadn't even properly _spoken _to me since that fight, but she was fun to hang out with and we bonded well, having been through similar situations.

Suddenly, as if on cue, my phone went off. I picked it up and speak of the devil.

"S-Santana?" I said, strangely nervous. I hadn't spoken to her since last year, and it felt strange to suddenly be communicating again out of the blue.

On the other line, I was met with breathy gasps and sniffles. It sounded like she was trying to get some words out, but all I truly caught was "Finn," "didn't," "else," and "call."

"Wait, what? Santana, please, speak more slowly."

"F-F-Finn...Finn...Finn _outed _me."

Dead air. My jaw dropped slightly, eyes widened and I almost dropped the phone. It felt like someone had smacked me across the face. How could he _do _that to her?

"Santana, are you _serious_?"

She sniffled. "Do I _sound _serious, Twinkle?"

"Oh...oh _shit. Fuck._ Fucking _hell._"

A weak chuckle amidst the sniffles. "Damn, Hummel, I didn't know you even knew those words, let alone how to use them."

"Disregarding. Santana, tell me _everything._"

The atmosphere became serious once more, and I heard a deep sigh on the other line. "Well, I went to apologize to Shamu, and it kind of went...wrong."

"What happened?"

"Well, I kind of started...dissing him again. You know me, it's not like I can help it!"

"Okay...then what?"

"Well, I was walking away, and I just heard him say, 'Hey Santana, w-why don't you just c-come out of the c-closet?" The gasps returned, and soon I heard quiet sobs on the other line. "I-I didn't know who else to...to c-call," she choked out. "I couldn't believe it. I was _mortified._ It was in the middle of the _hallway_!"

"Santana...I...how could he even...after..." I couldn't even form a proper sentence, I was so furious. After everything I, his _step-brother_ been through because of my sexuality? Violence, death threats, having to _switch schools_, and he can happily _out _a kid in the middle of the hall? It was hypocritical, stupid and worst of all, _dangerous. _

"K-Kurt, I need your help. Coach Sylvester's opponent 'The Sauce' is going to air a commercial outing me to the whole _state. _Everyone's going to know now, because of that _idiot_!" She paused, and just barely managed to squeak out, "Kurt, I haven't even told my _parents _yet."

Suddenly, I assumed the old mentor role I'd been absent from so long. "Okay, Santana. I'm going to talk to Finn about this and trust me, he is _not _going to get away without an apology. We're going to get through this, okay? Together. You have me here to talk to whenever you need me. As for that stupid commercial, there's nothing in my power I can do, though you better believe I would _love _to put every single channel it's on off the air forever. Being outed..._sucks. _I would know."

Suddenly, there was dead air. "Y-you mean...when...Kurt, I -"

_"Can we please discuss the elephant in the room?" _

_ "Your sexuality?"_

"It's fine, I'm over it. My dad and Mercedes already knew. Anyway, this isn't about me, it's about helping _you._ I know it must feel like your entire world has just come crashing down, splitting into a million unrecognizable pieces. Being forced to let the entire world know your deepest, darkest secret is terrible and shouldn't happen to anyone. But, instead of thinking about that, which we honestly can't change, though we'd _love _to...I want you to think about Brittany."

"Kurt...what are you -"

"Think of Brittany. How she makes you feel. How much you love her, and that you'd never trade her for anything in the world. How happy she makes you. Her eyes, and how they sparkle when she sees you coming." Even though we weren't face-to-face, I could see her smile. "With her and her love for you, and me helping you every step of the way, _we're going to get through this._ And Blaine would understand too, but I won't tell him a single thing if you don't want me to."

"Kurt, you're amazing. Has anyone ever told you that?"

I smiled softly. "Yeah. You have."

"And it's absolutely _terrible _you've been put in this position, but -"

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Could I...maybe...come over? It's...been a while."

"Absolutely."

* * *

><p>We sat at the foot of my bed, eating Girl Scout thin mints, and catching up. It was rewarding to see her grin and eyes light up when I told her what I did after the opening night of the show.<p>

"Kurt, holy _shit! _You two did the _deed_?"

I nodded, and couldn't help but giggle. "Yep. Oh, _god, _'Tana, he was amazing."

She burst into laughter. "That's amazing! Britts and I are going well, too. We sort of...made it official."

"Oh my _god, _congratulations!"

She shrugged, but there was a pink tint to her cheeks as he began closely examining the cookie in her hands. "Yeah, well, I'm not ready to go public yet or anything..." and there was a sudden pang in my chest. She looked up at me, eyes wide, and I just squeezed her hand, urging her to continue. "...but I love her. With all my heart. She's the best thing to ever happen to me, Kurt." Her eyes sparkled in a way specially reserved for Brittany.

"I know what you mean. That's how I feel about Blaine."

She smiled, and it was genuine. "Kurt, I'm glad we did this. You're a really great friend, and I feel like shit that I forgot that."

"You didn't forget," I said. "We just went our seperate ways for a while. But I swear, I will do anything and everything in my power to make sure you smile like _that_ every single day."

With no warning, she leaned over and gave me and wrapped me in a hug. And it felt just like old times.


End file.
